Couples Counseling & Chatting
App Now Available for FREE on Android and Apple iOS phones and tablets! !
"There is always a
solution to getting unstuck,
if you are willing to listen and learn"
"I really love this app. It has opened my eyes a great deal and am hoping it helps me with my issues"
“I love this app. It is very useful and user friendly. I think this app has given us the tools to mend our relationship”
“This is incredible. A real person who doesn't give any BS but honest helpful advice and insight. She's amazing and will change your life!!”
“It's not easy. This app opened our eyes a lot. We were about to let go but we now realized it is not easy to fix anything, let alone a relationship. It needs a lot of work”
Learning to Use the "Couples Counseling & Chatting" App
The App has Four Components:
- EXPERT lets you get answers to your most intimate and troubling questions from a real, highly experienced therapist (no, it's not artificial intelligence responding to key words in your questions)
- MESSAGE is for communicating with your partner within the app about multiple subjects using free form text or pre-written statements (so much more than a Text app ! !)
- NOTEBOOK captures your thoughts (like a diary) and allows you to share as many of them with your partner as you wish (you can also share a list, date plans or a photo of an important document too ! !)
- SESSION acts like a session with a therapist: asking you questions, teaching, helping you understand what is really causing you stress, giving you homework to improve your mood or to re-connect with your partner, and giving you the steps and words to walk through a healthy conversation with your partner (so, so much better than simply reading a bunch of relationship advice and then trying to figure out how to apply it ! !)
- Settings is where you Edit the Profile you created during registration, add your partner to your Contacts, find out About the Creator of the App, or Log Out (you may want to log out if your phone is not password protected and you don't want someone accessing what you've entered in the app. If you don't log out, the app just opens right up).
- Navigation is possible from the drop down menu in the upper right corner (three horizontal bars) or by swiping the screen from side to side.
Connect with your partner through the App by:
- First your partner must have the app installed on their phone or tablet and be registered.
- In the App, go to Settings/ Contacts/ Add New Contact
- Enter their name (Probably their first name, or a 'pet' name for them)
- Identify the relationship in the drop down
- Enter the Email Address they used when they installed the app on their phone and registered
- Click Add Contact. Their name will be light grey until your partner responds to a message asking them to accept your invitation
- Just type your question in the text field at the bottom of the screen and hit send.
- You should receive an automatic reply very soon letting you know your message was received.
- You will receive an answer from the therapist within 48hrs, but more often before the end of the day.
- The therapist is in the United States Eastern Time Zone and does not answer questions at night.
- The therapist is only able to communicate in English.
- Unlike a typical text messaging app, you can maintain multiple conversations with your partner for different subjects. So a request to pick up the dry cleaning doesn't get in the way of back and forth planning of a much needed weekend getaway, or reaching closure on a recent argument.
- Don't worry, you only need to create one conversation to get started. You won't have to go through this screen every time you want to communicate! But you'll probably appreciate it when you want to start a separate conversation on a certain subject.
- First click on New Conversation
- Select the person you want to have the conversation with from the drop down
- Enter a name for the conversation (maybe 'General' for everyday back-and-forth dialogue)
- Click on Conversation
- Note - you delete a conversation by holding your finger on it for two seconds
- Once in the Message screen (it shows the Contact and Subject at the top), you are given dozens and dozens of pre-written messages to help speed up communication, and to help find the right words.
- Pre-written messages are accessed by clicking on the Speech Bubble to the left of the text box. The one with the question mark (?) inside.
- Pre-written messages are provided in the following categories: Support, Smoosh, Appreciation, Concern/ Fight Prevention, Pay Attention, Cuddle Request, Apology, and Flirt.
- Once inside a Category, you click on a statement you want to use and it's automatically typed into the text box.
- Yes, you can combine multiple pre-written messages into the same message!
- You can also edit or add to a pre-written message as well.
- You can of course type the whole message yourself like a text app.
- You first need to click on Add New Note and give it a subject. You will also choose whether to share the note with your partner (you can change this any time you go back in to edit the note).
- Just enter text in the text box and hit Save Note when finished.
- You can add a picture to a note by clicking on the paperclip down to the left of the Save Note button. You can add an existing picture or take a new one.
- You return to edit a note by clicking on the image of the pencil in the box.
- You delete a note by clicking on the trash can.
- If your partner shares notes with you they will be visible under the Shared Notes heading.
- You generally go through the sections of the Session in order from Top to Bottom, although after using the app for a while, if something is bothering you and you are not sure what . . . you may want to go straight to the Situation Evaluation.
- Knowledge, Self Evaluation and Situation Evaluation are where you do the 'work'. After every four to six questions on a topic you will learn about the topic and have the choice to accept some homework assignments. The App will send you reminders to complete your homework (that's what the exclamation point in the upper right corner means) as well as prevent you from proceeding through the questions until you indicate your homework is finished.
- Knowledge tests your knowledge of the differences in how men and women communicate.
- Self-Evaluation helps you understand yourself and helps you manage behaviors that affect your relationship (hormones, anxiety, control issues, defensiveness, intimacy and aggression).
- Situation Evaluation helps you identify and deal with external factors that may be affecting you and your relationship (work, a recent loss, family, major changes, or isolation).
- Notebook contains instructions on how to use the notebook prior to having a conversation with your partner (many homework assignments direct you to jot down some notes on a topic). This button is not actual access to the Notebook. You get access to the Notebook from the drop down at the top of the app.
- Time to Talk walks you through a two-way conversation with your partner, and includes access to the same long lists of Validating/ Support and Active Listening statements that are accessible from the buttons at the top-level of the Session menu.
- The last three buttons are reference information to look at whenever you need to.
- Validating/ Support and Active Listening statements can be used when you need help finding the right thing to say.
- Rules for Success give you fast advice on how to communicate effectively with your partner, especially during conflict.